Kenny Cool as Balls Collide

This Saturday sees the title race in Scottish football’s First Division go right to the wire, a fact that freelancer, Kenny MacDonald, was dictating over the telephone to a copytaker last Saturday, when a ball suddenly landed slap, bang, into his lap.

It had been kicked out of the park towards the end of the game between Gretna and Clyde, just as MacDonald was beginning to dictate his match report. Gretna’s draw, coupled with St Johnstone’s win, means either side could, this weekend, win the title and therefore promotion to the Scottish Premierleague.

But, say onlookers, MacDonald hardly skipped a beat, nonchalantly sweeping the ball to one side, while declaring to his colleagues that St Johnstone had won, 3-0.

One fellow hack did enquire: “Did the copytaker ask if that’s one ‘f’ or two in ‘f**k’?”

P.S. A dictaphone-type recorder was left behind at Gretna’s Raydale Park on Saturday. If it was yours, email us here the identity of the manufacturer, to confirm it’ll returning to a good home.

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