It's April Fools Day today, prompting plenty quotes from Rolf Piola and Dr Par Fol-Loi in today's Scottish press.
And arguably top billing among the hoaxes and tricks belongs to the Metro newspaper, which devotes its April Fool to itself, namely an edible version.
Aidan Radnedge (page 9) has attempted to deceive readers into believing a new edition of the paper can be eaten and has been been approved by a “Charles Bouquet of the Edible Paper Society”.
The Metro quotes 'Bouquet', saying: “We hope it adds flavour to the stories and presents readers with a colourful menu of current affairs.”
The story is accompanied by a photograph of two readers tucking into their bite-size editions.
Meanwhile, Ewan Smith, in The Scottish Sun (page 21), attempts to astound readers by claiming that if you pour beer on to your grass, you will acquire a beautiful green lawn the next day. Supposedly, the idea was stumbled upon by Forfar FC “footie groundsman, Martin Gray”.
Moving on, acclaimed novelist, Alexander McCall Smith, in The Scotsman (pages 22 and 23) looks back on Edinburgh’s 'underground railway', using his vivid imagination, plus a grain of truth. It would be fair to say this April Fool’s joke is one of the most convincing today, due to its enormous content and in-depth analysis. He refers to imaginary subway stops such as 'Honest Lad' and architect Sir Robert Lorimer, who supposedly designed many of the stations.
The paper's leader column (page 38) confesses all.
Elsewhere, David Scott, in Scottish Daily Express (page 23), reports of a “barking cat” called Olly which is alleged to have grown up in an animal shelter surrounded by dogs, with the result that it barks instead of meows.
Still in the Express (page 35), William Hartston has compiled a weird and wonderful fact list of “ten things you never knew about April Fools”. From the serious and historical to comical modern-day, the facts are a well-rounded representation of the true meaning of April Fools, or shall we call it 'All Fools Day'? For instance, did you hear about the robber who shot his sidekick in the arse? When sentenced, the judge aptly named them a “pair of fools” (2007).
And finally, thanks also to Douglas Walker, in The Scottish Sun (page 8), who has come up with a list of top ten April Fools, featuring classics such as the 'SuBo’s Statue of Liberty' and the famous 'spaghetti tree'.